So Who Am I & What Is A Life Coach Anyway?

After the traditional "Hello, what do you do?" question, and I reply "I am a Life Coach",
I love when I get the follow-on - "How are you qualified to tell me what to do with my life?". 
Though the type of person who asks this question is not the kind of person looking for or even open to coaching, I do enjoy the exchange.  It shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what a coach does.
I don't actually "tell" my clients to do anything.  We are all adults here.  While I may make some recommendations with the client's permission, or share tools with them, they are going to make their own choices.

The role of a coach is to listen, reflect, help tie things together and ask questions that hopefully challenge the client to go deeper and make important discoveries that may not be made on one's own.  When someone signs up for coaching, he is making a powerful statement to himself (or herself) that he is willing to set time aside to focus on him - his goals, projects, passions.  Coaching is about moving forward into action, not about dwelling on the past.  It is different than therapy because therapy is geared towards analyzing the source of a problem and is important for people with immediate and serious problems, like grief (or any other serious issues or disorders a doctor has determined should be treated by a therapist or Phychiatrist).  Coaching acknowledges problems, and some methods of coaching go deeper emotionally than others, but whatever the circumstance, the client has to be ready to take responsibility for her success and say "okay, now what are we going to do about it?". 
 
Before I made my transition into coaching, I spent over a decade as a headhunter in the fast paced arena of financial services.  There are some valuable skills I gathered from that experience that serve me well as a coach.  In order to close some of the most difficult
deals of my career, I had to dig down deep with people and get to the core of the issues to make sure everyone was on the same page, everything was clear and that we were all proceeding with eyes wide open.  This many times made the difference between someone surviving a counter offer or not.  The question at hand was, "Was the new opportunity truly what they wanted, on every level, enough to get them past old emotions and financial carrots?".
 
I find coaching far more enjoyable because there are a wide variety of subjects I cover with my clients, all of which get down to the basic issue of how can they get more out of his or her life.  However, I also noticed something as a successful executive about myself and why I wasn't satisfied that drove me to search for answers elsewhere.  Even though I was successful (at a young age even), and others thought I was good at what I did, I had a distinct feeling that I was not seeing the full potential of what I am capable of doing as a person.  I mentioned this idea of one's "full potential" to some Wall Streeters just the other night and they laughed and admitted they were no where close to 100%- (even though they are in the world's top 1% of wealthiest people).  I became a coach because I want to help people unleash their full potential.  That can take the form of better time management so a busy banker literally has more time for his passions, or overcoming personal fears so a small business owner can move forward to grow the business of her dreams, supporting environmental entrepreneurs while they turn wild ideas into reality, or uncovering anyone's life goal and planning steps on what needs to happen in order to move in that direction.  Who am I to do this?  I am someone who listens, cares, has always had great intuition for these topics and has undertaken a rigorous academic program to be qualified by the International Coach Federation.
 
My greatest experience however, has been my own life, which has been rich and varied in experiences good and not so good, but certainly all an adventure!  I think we learn the most out of adversity and I have always tried to be a student of the challenges I face and am still facing (as we all do).  Just because I have taken on coaching as a profession, does not mean that I am the picture
of perfection, and I certainly don't claim to be.  I make an enormous effort however, to face all my challenges head on, be brave, believe life is inherently good, share my gifts, and see the grace and infinite potential in others.  If I can help other people open themselves up to find the best in themselves and lead the lives they want to (and CAN) be living, well, then I am very lucky to be able to spend my days that way.

If you are interested in learning more about coaching in Hong Kong, please visit www.be-thebutterfly.com
for information on METAMORPHOSIS COACHING, or the Hong Kong International Coaching Community Website or for general coaching information International Coach Federation Website.

Don't forget to FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER.

Perri Blake Gorman is a Personal Action Coach based in Hong Kong and this is her blog!  Comments, questions? Contact her at perri@be-thebutterfly.com

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