Hip Hong Kong | My Favorite Nightmare Ever in Fashionland

By Foxy Romantic

I originally came to Hong Kong to recover from my longest love story, 4 years on and off with a serial cheater and I decided the best way not to succumb to his charms anymore was to put 10,000 km between us and to spend my summer in Asia.

As a new single, of course I was going out quite a lot, especially to Dragon-I- the land of the models, bankers and local celebrities.

My nightmare belonged to the last category. I was attracted to him right away- even from the moment I asked him to take a picture of me and he told me to do it again- without posing.

That comment seemed rude to me at the time and I probably should have smelled a rat but instead, I took back my camera and took a picture of him, asking him not to pose either. I found out that same night he was friend with benefits with an Eurasian model I knew, and after a few drinks at Drop, I went back to his place with them.

From the moment he kissed me and pushed me on the bed, I was hooked; it was the no-turning-back kind of sex, and to me it seemed like it was more than just sex. I was falling in love while having a threesome! I was quite shocked at this strange turn of events and I escaped in the morning, feeling like my world had gone topsy-turvy.

Somehow he found my number and 2 days later we were dating. Imagine the usual question, "-So how did you two met? -Mhhhhhh, you know, friends of friends..."

I was so utterly in love with him, he was so not ready for it and perpetuated, in my humble opinion, a "love sabotage". But we women love to give men the excuse of being scared! Maybe he was simply being evil. I'm not sure. I used to call him my Obnoxious Enigma.

Anything you could imagine he did to me. We were definitely pressing each others' wrong buttons. I went to see a life coach. 800 HKD of positive energy wasted after a sleepover at his place where I left fuming and furious cause of a bloody bodycream fight, yes, a bodycream from Kiehls, don't ask! We saw a psychologist, a fortune teller, and a hypnotherapist. I even booked him an appointment with an energy healer who thought he might be possessed. Umm.. I don't think so, any spirit in their right mind wouldn't really go there.....

I even went to Smartone to stop myself from calling him. "-You mean, you want to block someone to call you? -No, I need to stop myself from dialling a certain number. -No, we are sorry, we don't provide this service", answered a bewildered salesperson. I left before they called the lunatic asylum on me. (But I still think it would be a pretty popular option, if any Smartone people are reading this; If men are ready to pay for roaming privacy, women would certainly pay avoid the classic drunk and dial.)

Instead of his real name, I registered him as "Danger don't answer" on my mobile but of course I ended up always answering to Danger. Later that week, a friend said "Your phone is ringing, it's written Danger don't answer??? -Give it to me, it's an emergency!!!"

Even though we had broken up on New Year's Eve (thank you Obnoxious for the great start to the year) we kept having the most amazing break-up sex for more than a year. We did it everywhere: Me clinging onto a ladder with him behind, next to the emergency exit of my staircase, on my rooftop (my good deed of the day to the neighbours), in a small alley in Soho between Staunton and Elgin (very quiet at dawn, highly recommended) on Bowen Rd. Children's playground (at night of course, I do have some morals!), in his staircase (it was a walk-up and we simply couldn't manage to wait to arrive on his floor. Bad idea, bruised my back on the stairs, better wait till we get upstairs next time) inside a temple in Cambodia, during our good-bye holidays. Yes I know, bad Foxy, but seriously, all the statues overthere are topless and so perfectly shaped, quite exciting!

It was on that same trip that we almost broke our necks, climbing Angkor Wat from the backside. We mounted the steep, giant, unkempt steps from the back, because on the frontside the stairs were restored, and Obnoxious had heard some people speaking Cantonese and was afraid the tourists would leak our picture to the press. He also sat one row behind me at the Airport Express and was walking 2 meters ahead, because "Paparrazi are everywhere at the airport during Chinese New Year -Sure dear, I see one in that flower pot ready to jump on you..."

30 minutes into the holiday, I was already struggling not to lose my cool, which eventually happened later in the day, again great timing, stuck next to him screaming on a tuk-tuk. We did make out on that same tuk-tuk the day after and that was a great memory. We fell in love again then broke up on Valentine's Day.

I think one of my best nights with him, and one of my best nights in general, is the time we decided we had enough of hurting each other and to finish in an apotheosis. We booked a room at the Conrad. I brought my favorite lingerie, lace and gatherbelt, he brought some toys, "Creme Chantilly" and ropes.

That night we just couldn't get enough of each other, from 7pm to 4pm, our late check-out, we did it 7 or 8 times, more like 8 actually. Of course it didn't go perfectly smooth, he tied me up on a pouf and left, and I thought that being as twisted as he was, he was capable leaving me there tied up while raving at Volar till dawn. I tried to undo the knots myself and fell on the floor, still attached to the pouf, in a very "turtle stuck on her back" style. He came back not so long after with a dinner for us two.

It was animal, tender, intense and sad at the same time, cause it was the end and we knew it too well. Even I had to admit, after such a night, I did hope we were going to make it together.

We didn't make it and after a mandatory period of silence we became friends, very close friends, confidants even. I realised it was so much better to listen to his stories that to actually star in them. He has such a great sense of humour, he bought me a whip for Christmas.

Something good comes out of all seemingly bad situations and thanks to him I moved to Hong Kong. I did so because after we met, the idea of spending a day without him was so unbearable that I never made it back to Europe and honestly, I'm supremely happy here!