I'm not Desperate Jerkwad- Just Being Friendly

 A letter to Anita by a fellow single CyberCrispy

Dear Anita,

When I read your blog, so many of your stories ring true with me. I often find myself saying “Word, girlfriend!” As a single and fabulous woman in the city myself – I’d like to share a ‘dating in the jungle’ story with you and single readers.

It’s true that we can all get laid in any night in HK, but at what price? I have been telling my friends: why is this so hard? Why do men complicate things or say the totally wrong things at the right times? It is frustrating. No, we are not whores. We are not out there looking to just shag whoever we end up making out with at Drop, after hours of booze, and when no one really knows WHAT you are kissing!

I mean seriously, you must certainly have had this experience, or know someone who has: It’s Sunday or Tuesday night and you get a sms from an unknown number (mind you: I’ve gotten phone calls before, but in that case I don’t even answer it), and it goes: “Hey there sexy, it’s Josh from Drop Sat night. Wanna teach me some more hip moves? Drinks this week?”

And I’m like…WTF? Who is Josh? Shit how come I can’t even recall leaving Drop…And what was I thinking giving this random guy my number? So … I delete the message and frantically call my best friend who was also there, because you know you need the validation that you were not (hopefully) making an ass of yourself: “Hi babe, do you remember me making out with anyone at drop sat night? Oh, really? Oh, god… How come you didn’t stop me? Oh, ugly, really? Oh shit…thank god I didn’t go home with him! Geez… and thank god Drop is… dark!”

Now help me out here….why these scenarios happen? Because chances are, more often than not, we meet some good-looking guys who turn out to be complete jerks! I’ve had my share!

For instance, a couple of weeks ago, I was out bar-hopping on Wyndham with the girls and we were making our way towards Solas. On our way there, we run into a guy we know from the party scene. He’s the typical cute guy that has the moves and the talk…in other words- a player. We stop to say hello and to his left was a friend of his from out of town- tall, built, handsome and ‘Jet-fresh’. So I start making small talk with the tall/handsome friend, laughing and flirting but in a very, very subtle way. The girls became a bit antsy to get going and we say goodbye, “We’re heading to Solas, you guys should join”. They were going to another club later, they said.

We were all still too sober, had just finished drinks and lots of talking about … men. I had commented that I really wouldn’t mind hooking up with some of my acquaintances/ guys I know from partying, as it had been a while since I got some action. So as soon as we get the first round of drinks at Solas, they start grilling me: “There’s your guy. You said you wanted to get laid. There you go. He’s cute, and has a good body and you should really go for him”.

I was like: girls, easy, easy there! Let’s see, we just literally met. I don’t know him at all. Besides they were planning to go someplace else. Let’s see.

Well, they didn’t drop the subject and we all agreed to ‘casually’ go to the club they had mentioned. We did well because we got there before them and made ourselves all comfortable dancing and having a fun time.

Soon after the boys arrived. We happened to walk in their direction and the girls start talking right away with the player (the one we know) and I take my chance to engage his handsome friend. I thought he was cute but that was certainly not enough reason for me to get naked and exchange body fluids so quickly.

Then comes a typical example of how men can just screw things up- I was being friendly, making jokes and some small talk, and I told him how I’ve had come across guys here in HK that I had met once, and then when I see them around for a second time and say hello, they look at me like they’ve never seen my face before. And I’m talking – not drunk and within a week or so after meeting them. So… here is what the guy was able to produce as a reply: “Well, are you friendly or are you just desperate?”

I was shocked! No, really. I was like, excuse me? I said: “That was very rude of you. And very unnecessary. And you know what; I really don’t need to know you at all. I was just being friendly.” So I literally turned and walked away.

Mind you, one of the girls was still talking to his friend, and the others looked at me hoping for a positive sign that “Yeah, I was getting laid”. I just looked at them and said: “He’s a complete asshole!” and proceeded to tell them what happened.

The whole situation really pissed me off. Again it goes back to…why do men have such a hard time with women that are sure of themselves and literally just not afraid of taking some initiative (I started the conversation – and mind you, I can read signs. I can tell you he was attracted to me at first). Though I found him really hot initially, his caustic comment turned him into a really ugly person that I would never in a million years consider taking to bed.

That night, I ended up out dancing much longer than I should have been but I managed to stay completely sober as I was not in the mood to even talk to another stranger and figured being alert would be the best weapon against the drunken idiots we end up meeting after 2am!!

Well my intention to get down & dirty has been postponed until a guy actually worth my evening comes along one of these nights!

I do admire some of my friends that can just have a one night stand, totally no strings attached. I am not a romantic whatsoever but I am a bit more reserved than people think. And honestly it’s because I do get grossed out to think…hmmmm how many lips (pun intended) has this guys’ mouth been on?? With how many chicks has he exchanged plenty of saliva?? And … that … is enough to turn me off. I mean, that’s one big enough reason for me to at least get to know the guy, actually see him out several times before I give my ‘quality control seal of approval’…
Oh boy…seems like my getting laid will have to wait longer than I thought!
Meanwhile… I’ll stick to getting drunk and dancing with girlfriends and just flirting with the boys!!

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